Comixbear's Comix Laid Bare

Moving day

2011-05-28T11:29:00.001-07:00

Okay everyone, I'm giving Tumblr a try for this blog. If you want to see new pics (and yes, I will be trying to post a lot more often) then visit me at http://comixbearsbarecomix.tumblr.com/

;)

Far Out!

2011-05-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

It is never a pretty sight when adults try to prove how 'with it' and 'hip' they are by trying to write comic book teens speaking the current slang language. When that is attempted, you end up with the following exchange...

Yes, that's right. Robin knows by heart what every teenager in the world would or would not say in a letter. Is there a book that is put out with periodic updates on what is currently popular? Nay, not just popular, apparently this lingo is mandatory! If you use anything other than this, you cannot in any way, shape or form be a teenager! But now Dick knows that a note is phony because they use the word 'music'! That's a bit of a stretch, Dickie-poo. Maybe this out of the way town hasn't got the updated manual yet. Oh, and Dick? Teenagers wouldn't use the word 'wind'. They use the word 'blowhard' instead.

Bad mutant timing

2011-05-13T17:56:00.000-07:00

This is definitely bad comic book timing. This was in a recent issue of Astonishing X-Men, and while it had to have been completed months before, discussion of tsunamis and Japan are not popular right now!

The Butler Did It

2011-03-31T09:18:00.001-07:00

Yes, this is Jarvis from the early days of the Avengers. At this point, he decided that it was a good idea to sell the secrets of the Avengers to a super-villain called the Crimson Cowl and the Masters Of Evil.

You know that never ends well. Sort of like an episode of Days of our Lives.

Here we see Jarvis going into the hideout of the Masters of Evil. He knows that noone will watch him because, after all, who pays any attention to a butler?

“Oh, I’m sorry I saw you fella. I thought you were a night watchman. I’ll go back to ignoring you, now.”

The Vision Goes Hollywood

2011-03-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, there are a lot of things to comment on with this cover of Avengers Spotlight. We have the Vision in his ‘Casper’ mode, trying to look like your typical Californian albino. (Don’t even get me started on the oversized sunglasses. We have a obvious steroid-case in the background who is drawn with even less testicle-per-package ratio than usual. A homeless man is obvious, since it’s illegal to have a group without at least one bum. The guy on the cell phone in his sporty car? Of course! And then we have the woman in the bikini and the large....polka dots.

What the hell is she doing with her hands? Is she trying to make dimples? Is she aiming to spit at the Vision? Is she pointing out her cold sores? What??? I don’t understand it a single bit! Or maybe she is using the two fingers to count her IQ. But at least it’s nice to see a cover that covers every Hollywood stereotype that there is.

Club Terror

2011-03-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

Now I'll admit that some private clubs aren't as cool as they might be, but apparently this one that appears in Wonder Woman is the absolute pits!

To begin with, if a guy who is wearing a very, very small sheet constitutes 'terror' for you, then you obviously need to be relaxing at home while watching the Disney Channel. Maybe you can switch occationally to Dora the Explorer for some excitement. I mean look at this guy! His sheet doesn't even reach his belly button! And you just KNOW that he's yelling "BOO!!" And he's easily distracted, jumping after Wonder Woman's ladybags. No wonder that she's ticked off and swinging him around like a baton!

Then we look at the other club members at the bottom of the cover. That first guy HAS to be a Dick Tracy villain...We'll call him FlatChin. He and his friends there are staring at Princess Diana's breasts too, so they aren't worried that their buddy is about to have his spine meet the pavement. Even the mounted moose head is ogling! Too bad, George.

Flash It To Me

2011-03-08T07:50:00.001-08:00

Now I’m all for being open with your sexuality, but there is always a time and a place for it.

Um, Kid Flash, that definitely comes under the definition of “too much information”. And I suspect that the authorities would have to have a say in this whole ‘bad man/good boy’ relationship. Why not just remain platonic friends until you turn 18 and then see what happens?

No Wonder Snailmail Is Out

2011-03-05T18:09:00.000-08:00

In the story that introduced the Teen Titans, the teenagers of a small town are having problems with being misunderstood by the adults there. Now since this is so unusual a problem in our world today, the teenagers send for teenage sidekicks in order to make things right. (I’m not sure if they expected Robin and company to kung-fu kick the heck out of the adults until they gave in...it wasn’t specified.) Anyway, since they wanted the help of Robin and company, they sent out messages to them.

Now I do start to wonder how the heck they got Robin’s address, especially without Batman seeming to know about it. But that could be explained away with just a little effort.

And Kid Flash didn’t really explain how he was contacted, although there was a convenient building nearby with a headline engraved on the second floor.

But Aqualad, I have a bit of a problem with.

Yeah, every teen club keeps a few spare eels sitting around just in case they are needed to send off to beg for a teenage sidekick to come and....help them get a fresh tuna sandwich, I don’t know! What good was Aqualad back then again?

I’m just trying to imagine a group of kids sitting around...”We can send a message to Robin in Gotham City by mail!” “Yeah, and I know someone who vandalizes buildings near Central City and would be willing to carve a message for us!” And young Timmy is sitting there smiling and says “See, guys, I told you buying that eel was a good idea! It’s time for Aqualad!” “Aquawho?” “Trust me on this!”

Seen But Not Heard

2011-03-03T18:51:00.000-08:00

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the character, the Silent Knight was a character at DC Comics back in the late 1950's. He was a hero in medieval who would dress up in armor and never speak, in order to not give away his secret identity. (Apparently much later he was decided to be one of Hawkman’s reincarnations, but we don’t talk about that in polite society.) Most of his adventures involved his battling against the evil Sir Edwin, who was determined to capture his bane the Silent Knight. In this story, Sir Edwin has sworn openly sworn that he would have the Silent Knight as his captive before the end of the day. And so.....

Um....Maybe it’s just a simplistic idea, but wouldn’t it be easier to just not dress up as the Silent Knight for a day? If there was a reason for him to be active it would be one thing, but the only thing going on right then was someone who was swearing that they would have him in custody that day. He was only dressed up because he was following his girlfriend and wanted to ‘chat’ with her in red. Why not get back in your jerkin and have a day off? Make the villain look like a schmuck without risking your chainmail? Or is that TOO easy?

Acting Like A Total Hunt

2011-02-27T17:44:00.001-08:00

There’s nothing left for you to hunt? How about a new tailor? Or possibly someone to redecorate your apartment? Now I’ll be the first to admit that a taste of individuality is worthwhile, but this taste is enough to leave a bitter aftertaste! And you just KNOW that he has a leather sectional in front of the big-screen tv!

Loose Lips Sink Alien Spaceships

2011-02-26T08:52:00.000-08:00

With a mother like this, it’s a wonder that Clark Kent ever made it to adulthood, invulnerability or no invulnerability.

That’s right, Martha. What’s done is done. You just happened to mention to someone who is threatening our lives and our son’s life his only weakness, but it’s okay. And this is why Clark is helping me place you in a nursing home next week where we’ll just happen to mention that you hate lima beans. Deal with that!

2011-01-04T07:42:00.000-08:00

And here, Wonder Woman shows why she remains so popular to this day.

Judging by the angle in which young Bobby is staring at her, we know exactly what sort of pictures he has been looking at. He managed to find the internet porn that WW wasn't exactly proud of. I know for a fact that if Lynda Carter had jumped around with her legs spread open that far, the Wonder Woman tv series would still be on to this day!

There's nothing like a spoiled snatch!

2010-12-30T10:38:00.001-08:00

Now I know that the old Hostess ads weren’t the tops in creative writing, but there are some of them that go to a new, lower depth than even Secret Wars II.

Take this one, for example:

They couldn’t come up with a better title than ‘Spoils A Snatch’? Although I hear that was the original choice for ‘One More Day’.

And then Peter Parker shows his creative imagination by covering his change into Spider-Man by saying “Gee, Mary Jane. I just thought of something.” I guess that this was something that happened so infrequently that it deserved an announcement. Oh, and Peter...next time just save your groceries and stand next to the exit. The one that tries to go through it...it’s the real villain.

Tall Tales

2010-03-26T06:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, here’s a little look at Black Goliath #4 where the too-tall hero faces off against that super-villain who puts fear in everyone’s heart.....

Stilt-Man!!!

That’s right...Our hero is getting the crap beat out of him in the front cover of his own book by a villain who’s only power is getting taller than most professional basketball players!

But wait...something’s wrong here! Black Goliath’s power is go grow into a giant...all over. Not just extending his legs. So why, in panel after panel after panel, are the bodies of BG and SM the same size?

I mean, shouldn’t Black Goliath be able to reach over, grab Stilt-Man’s head in one hand, and pop it like a zit? But instead, he just looks like he is the same size as the grade-c villain!

Of course let’s face facts...If Stilt-Man can give you a hard time, then it’s no wonder your title was cancelled after the next issue!

Show me, Superboy!

2010-03-23T17:24:00.001-07:00

Hmmm, let's examine the situation, shall we? Here we have Ma and Pa Kent, who seem to run a wayward home for space youths, taking in yet another lost-and-foundling that Superboy brought home like a little puppy.

"Ma, he's so cute and he followed me home! Can we keep him?"

Clark tries though to play things close to the vest, pretending never to have met this alien. After all, combing your hair differently has always proven to be a good method to deceive aliens in the past! But this time....

Well, that's that. This alien can telepathically sift through Clark's mind and know anything about him that he wants to know. But in the next panel....

Wait? You can read his mind, but need to depend upon him to SHOW you his weaknesses? I think we see now why we aren't bowing to our overlords of Titan!

Blind Soldier

2010-01-02T21:28:00.001-08:00

In an issue of the Invaders, a soldier is rushing to see the Invaders, whom he hears are appearing on the base. However......

Yeah, it’s guys like this who helped us win World War II. Guys who can’t see flaming men, amphibians with wings flying, and the entire baseload of soldiers in front of his very eyes. Turns out that 4F didn’t catch EVERYone that they should have.

Blondes have more fun

2009-05-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

Today, boys and girls, we see a prime example of why Batman is considered the World's Greatest Detective.

We also see a prime example of why he's a bachelor!

That's right, women are vain creatures who would only change their hair color in order to seem to be empty-headed floozies! And Batman knows it!

Hold onto Robin as hard as you can, Batman. He's likely to be your only caregiver when you get old!

Light(ning) in the brain

2009-04-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

Today we are examining the Mensa Girl Of The Year, Mary Marvel. She proves that the wisdom of Minerva takes a holiday with her, since Mary seems to be unable to think her way out of a paper bag. Take for example this scene....

"I have to fool Mary Marvel! Hey, fly over there for a minute!"
"Sure! Aw, darn, he didn't wait here like he promised!!"

And as if that wasn't bad enough.....

"Those earrings will look great while I'm online telling guys in Nigeria my bank account number so that I can accept their money!"

Yes, Mary is fooled by a cheesy 50-cent beard. Sivana obviously knew that he didn't have to go all-out to deal with a woman who'd been hit in the head with lightning one too many times.

By the way, if Sivana knew Mary Marvel's real identity and was able to fool her with that crappy disguise...why didn't he just shoot her while she was trying on the earrings???

Fun and excuses

2008-07-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well guys, I haven’t been updating here in awhile. It’s been a crazy few weeks. Frankly, what’s been happening is that I lost my job (due to the hospital closing) 5 weeks ago, and so I’ve been working to move. I went for a couple of weeks to visit with my parents and prepare to move, which I’ll be doing in 2 weeks. I’ll post now when I can, but I can’t guarantee what days I’ll have time to. But after the relocation, I’ll be getting better.

Today, I’m showing two clips for your fun.

1) Sticky Keyboard

Look at this cover, and YOU tell me that these bug creatures aren’t visiting www.beatmymeat.com and then hugging Kamandi!

Ewww! At least use a wet-nap before-hand!

2) Lois Lane gets what’s coming to her.

Maybe not, Lois, but it is sure as hell satisfying!!!

More soon!

And smile....

2008-06-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

Did Spy Smasher Kill Hitler?

No, but he shot the hell out of a giant picture of Hitler that happened to be hanging on the side of a mountain. Frankly, it would be a major effort NOT to hit him!

How often do you think that Hitler stood around posing for people to shoot him in the throat?

Trust me, things would have been much more peaceful if he had.

Off this week

2008-06-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

Okay everyone, there will be a few more days without a blog entry. I lost my job this week and so I'm dealing with that.

I'll be back Monday.

Comixbear

Please pass the salad!

2008-06-07T18:09:00.001-07:00

Let’s take a closer look at this cover. All of the people at the table seem to be less concerned with the fact that their dinner guest is a Swamp Thing knock-off and more horrified that he is using the wrong silverware!

“My God, Merrick, I don’t care about that ‘slime monster’ nonsense...He’s grabbed the shrimp fork for the entree! Throw him out!”

A point to ponder....If he eats the asparagus, does that make him a cannibal?

How to get rid of a super-villain

2008-06-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, now it’s time for Basic Science 101. Take a look at this scene from the Defenders, where Magneto proceeds to explain how the Avengers had dealt with him after capturing him in the recent past. Can you see a problem with this plan of the Avengers? Lets look and see.

Okay...Let’s think over a few basic needs...Food...Water...Air...Magneto may be a mutant, but unless his mutant power is to teleport his ass pretty damn quick, we are going to be dealing with an ex-villain! The Avengers were pretty evil themselves in the day!

The World's Greatest Detective

2008-06-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

Batman has often been called the World’s Greatest Detective. People have come to him for decades in order to solve problems that many have deemed to be unsolvable. No clue is too small for him to notice and his computer-like mind figures things out like you would never believe humanly possible. So when your daughter is missing and presumed kidnaped.......

And the minor clue that gives Batman reason to believe that Dimitrios is really the one who kidnaped Esmeralda......?

Nothing escapes the Batman!! Thank goodness though for villains who wait around long enough though for victims to write identifying notes and then leave them lying around!

You are family, now shut up!

2008-06-02T05:37:00.000-07:00

Superboy shows what sort of dick he will grow up to be in this cover. He gave a girl super-powers and arranged for his parents to adopt her solely because of the fact that she irritated him?

Of course, secondary to all of this is the fact that John and Martha Kent are having a picnic out in the open with two super-kids in full costume. Doesn’t that sort of sort of do away with the ol’ secret identities?

Actor Harvey Korman dies in Los Angeles

2008-05-30T05:28:00.000-07:00

May 29, 2008, 6:02 PM EST

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Harvey Korman, the tall, versatile comedian who won four Emmys for his outrageously funny contributions to "The Carol Burnett Show" and on the big screen in "Blazing Saddles," died Thursday. He was 81.

Korman died at UCLA Medical Center after suffering complications from the rupture of an abdominal aortic aneurysm four months ago, his family said in a statement released by the hospital.

His daughter, Kate Korman, said in the statement that it was a "miracle" that her father had survived the aneurysm at all, and that he had several major operations.

"Tragically, after such a hard fought battle he passed away," she said.

A natural second banana, Korman gained attention on "The Danny Kaye Show," appearing in skits with the star. He joined the show in its second season in 1964 and continued until it was canceled in 1967. That same year he became a cast member in the first season of "The Carol Burnett Show."

Burnett and Korman developed into the perfect pair with their burlesques of classic movies such as "Gone With the Wind" and soap operas like "As the World Turns" (their version was called "As the Stomach Turns").

Another recurring skit featured them as "Ed and Eunice," a staid married couple who were constantly at odds with the wife's mother (a young Vickie Lawrence in a gray wig). In "Old Folks at Home," they were a combative married couple bedeviled by Lawrence as Burnett's troublesome young sister.

Burnett was devastated by the news, said her assistant, Angie Horejsi.

"She loved Harvey very much," Horejsi said. She said Burnett had not yet made a statement.

Korman revealed the secret to the long-running show's success in a 2005 interview.

"We were an ensemble, and Carol had the most incredible attitude. I've never worked with a star of that magnitude who was willing to give so much away."

After 10 successful seasons, he left in 1977 for his own series. Dick Van Dyke took his place, but the chemistry was lacking and the Burnett show was canceled two years later. "The Harvey Korman Show" also failed, as did other series starring the actor.

"It takes a certain type of person to be a television star," he said in that 2005 interview. "I didn't have whatever that is. I come across as kind of snobbish and maybe a little too bright. ... Give me something bizarre to play or put me in a dress and I'm fine."

His most memorable film role was as the outlandish Hedley Lamarr (who was endlessly exasperated when people called him Hedy) in Mel Brooks' 1974 Western satire, "Blazing Saddles."

He also appeared in the Brooks comedies "High Anxiety," "The History of the World Part I" and "Dracula: Dead and Loving It," as well as two "Pink Panther" moves, "Trail of the Pink Panther" in 1982 and "Curse of the Pink Panther" in 1983.

Korman's other films included "Gypsy," "Huckleberry Finn" (as the King), "Herbie Goes Bananas" and "Bud and Lou" (as legendary straightman Bud Abbott to Buddy Hackett's Lou Costello). He also provided the voice of Dictabird in the 1994 live-action feature "The Flintstones."

In television, Korman guest-starred in dozens of series including "The Donna Reed Show," "Dr. Kildare," "Perry Mason," "The Wild Wild West," "The Muppet Show," "The Love Boat," "The Roseanne Show" and "Burke's Law."

In their '70s, he and Tim Conway, one of his Burnett show co-stars, toured the country with their show "Tim Conway and Harvey Korman: Together Again." They did 120 shows a year, sometimes as many as six or eight in a weekend.

Harvey Herschel Korman was born Feb. 15, 1927, in Chicago. He left college for service in the U.S. Navy, resuming his studies afterward at the Goodman School of Drama at the Chicago Art Institute. After four years, he decided to try New York.

"For the next 13 years I tried to get on Broadway, on off-Broadway, under or beside Broadway," he told a reporter in 1971.

He had no luck and had to support himself as a restaurant cashier. Finally, in desperation, he and a friend formed a nightclub comedy act.

"We were fired our first night in a club, between the first and second shows," he recalled.

After returning to Chicago, Korman decided to try Hollywood, reasoning that "at least I'd feel warm and comfortable while I failed."

For three years he sold cars and worked as a doorman at a movie theater. Then he landed the job with Kaye.

In 1960 Korman married Donna Elhart and they had two children, Maria and Christopher. They divorced in 1977. Two more children, Katherine and Laura, were born of his 1982 marriage to Deborah Fritz.

In addition to his daughter Kate, he is survived by his wife and the three other children.

Copyright 2008 Associated Press.

Lois Lane, Hitman For Hire

2008-05-28T18:04:00.000-07:00

That’s right, Lois. If Clark was Superman, he would have stood right there and let you blast away with a machine gun because he’s too stupid to realize that bullet’s bouncing off of his chest would show his secret identity.

And she wonders why Superman never wanted to marry her?

There's no way to put a good spin on this

2008-05-27T04:24:00.001-07:00

And the 2008 nominee for “Lamest Gimmick Ever” goes to....The Gyro-Master.

Seriously, now many drugs did the writers do in the 1970's???

Friendly Fire

2008-05-26T05:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it’s much better to have a close friend blow your brains out!

Happy Memorial Day, everyone!

World's Finest Swishers

2008-05-20T16:35:00.001-07:00

Here we see Superman, Batman and Robin, arm in arm as they go skipping merrily down the street. And I’m not sure if the guy talking about their ‘feats’ is talking about their capturing the Duplicate Man or if he was their ‘menage-a-league’ from the previous night!

Yes, Mistress Lois

2008-05-19T16:23:00.001-07:00

Here we see another example of Superman/Clark Kent being a super-masochist. Lois Lane has started chasing after him, but there’s no way in hell that he’ll let any girl make him feel comfortable! She might stop those nights out with Batman and Robin!! Personally, I love the comment “I refuse to be trapped into a cozy evening here!”

By the way, wouldn’t x-ray vision just see through the ham steaks? You would think that good ol’ heat vision would be the trick for burning things! As it is, he just x-rayed Lois enough to give her a MAJOR case of cancer in a few years.

Bill Elder Passes Away

2008-05-16T05:06:00.000-07:00

Several online sources, including Journalista and Mark Evanier, are reporting that cartoonist Will Elder, one of the founding artists for MAD Magazine, has passed away.

DC Comics sent out a press release earlier today on his passing:

William “Willie” Elder, the successful cartoonist and commercial illustrator whose work helped launch MAD Magazine, died Thursday morning, May 15th, 2008. He was 86.

Born Wolf William Eisenberg in the Bronx, New York, Elder changed his name after returning in World War II. During his time of service, Elder was part of the map-making team that was instrumental in the invasion of Normandy.

When Harvey Kurtzman launched MAD Magazine in 1952, he hired Elder along with Wally Wood, Jim Severin, and Jack Davis to produce content for the first issues.

“Willie Elder was one of the funniest artists to ever work for MAD. He created visual feasts with dozens of background gags layered into every MAD story he illustrated,” says John Ficarra, Editor of MAD Magazine, “He called these gags “chicken fat.” Willie’s “anything goes” art style set the tone for the entire magazine and created a look that endures to this day.”

“Willie’s passing saddens all of us here at MAD,” says Sam Viviano, MAD Magazine Art Director, “Everyone who has attempted to draw a funny picture over the course of the last fifty or sixty years owes an enormous debt to Willie, who taught us all how to do it — and no one has ever done it better than he did.”

In addition to his work on MAD, Elder also co-created Little Annie Fanny. Will Pfeifer has a remembrance up on his site:

…People say Elder was a master mimic — and he was, probably the best the field has ever seen — but even that title is selling him short. He didn’t just duplicate the styles of other artists, he twisted them slightly, revealing the rough sides of those smoooooth house-style pen lines.

And, all mimicking aside, the guy could draw too — draw like a master. His own art style had an inviting, open feel that nevertheless made the most of well-placed shadows and varied line weights. Just check out this panel from MICKEY RODENT!, where Elder’s own style offers a dark, disturbing contrast to the familiar, friendly style of the Disney studio. In fact, that’s the joke!

The sequel is never as good

2008-05-15T18:02:00.001-07:00

Do you think we can talk Paulie Shore into trying this machine?

Stretching the truth

2008-05-13T15:55:00.001-07:00

Little did we all know that Don Blake, Thor’s alternate identity, nipped a little Gingold every now and again. It was revealed on this cover, where his body is stretching longer than a politician stretches the truth!

I also wonder about what he’s yelling out. Considering the location of the monsters and where they are grabbing him, is he yelling “The demons below!” or “The demons blow!”

Mirror Mirror

2008-05-12T07:47:00.001-07:00

To give a little background, in this old Supergirl story she is trying to convince a young boy that fairies really exist. (I guess a quick trip to San Francisco was out of the question.) So she dresses up as a fairie princess and ‘grants wishes’ to prove that she’s real. The boy decides that he wants a magic mirror that can make the plainest girl in the class look beautiful.

“And when I grow up, I won’t be able to move my face because of nerve damage from plastic surgery, and my body will end at the neck, although I’ll somehow manage to hang myself from the nearest tree! NONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!”

'Vacation' from posts

2008-05-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, I just wanted to let you know that there will be a few days without any posts. I'm having some major stress issues, as well as more anger than I can deal with, and so I'm working on that for the next few days. I'm planning on starting back up regularly next Monday (May 12), so I hope to see you all here then.

Thanks
Comixbear

HEAL!!!

2008-05-05T16:05:00.001-07:00

Here we have Lois Lane, who (behind the backs of all her friends) went off and had bionic parts put in DURING FOUR DAYS OFF!!! It takes me longer than that to get over clipping my toenails! Was this covered by her insurance? Why are there no bandages or scars? And look at that arm...she had her entire arm replaced with a robotic replacement! That is a major owie!

Adventures to curl your hair

2008-04-30T16:57:00.001-07:00

I found this ad for the original Bionic Woman action figure, along with her adventures as she....gets a perm. Of course we need to wonder...why do you need a computer read-out in order to get your hair done? Of course I think this was released at the same time as GI Joe's prostate exam playset.

Nothing can save Alfred

2008-04-29T16:27:00.000-07:00

Looking at the way Alfred’s body is bent in half, I would BET that nothing would save him! Unless he is hinged in the middle, Alfred is now worm food!

Apparently Bucky Ain't Enough

2008-04-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

This is an actual scene from an early Captain America where he and Bucky just happen to be peeping toms who see a pure, unblemished young boy crying in his room...ALONE!!! So Captain America finds out the boy is blind and, thrusting his waist forward, agrees to let the boy touch him to prove who he is.

Needless to say, Cap is a perv!

Just shoot already!!!

2008-04-26T20:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, I like to do things the easy way. Instead of bragging about how you are able to get them, why not just pull that little ol’ trigger that is pointed dead center at his chest? Bang + gaping chest wound + Bullet wetting himself = victory!

Oh, and Blockade Boy? I posted this just to show you that this REALLY WAS a comic book series!

Guns don't kill people.....

2008-04-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

In this clip from Gunmaster and Bullet the Gun Boy (I kid you not...those are their names!), we see that this hero doesn’t worry about bullet wounds as much as he does infection. Frankly, if someone were to shoot me an ANY part of my body, I think that gaping holes in my body and gushing blood would be WAY more of a worry than getting an infection from that bullet. Of course, on the brighter side, by soaking those bullets in any sort of disinfectant makes it very unlikely that they are going to shoot out of the gun no matter what.

The Evils Of Disco

2008-04-21T16:15:00.001-07:00

This ad shows that you don’t have to worry about drugs, handguns, and prostitution. If you protect your kids from teenagers on roller skates listening to disco music by locking them in their rooms, then the big green monsters will come along and kill all of those who don’t agree with you!

Power Parts

2008-04-18T18:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, look at this promo art for the upcoming Power Girl ongoing series and tell me if you can.....which is her head and which are her breasts? They are all the same size!!!!!!!! (And just so you understand, for a gay comic fan this is NOT a good thing!)

HERE'S what you should be defending!

2008-04-16T08:20:00.000-07:00

Ouch! Nighthawk is definitely fighting dirty! Here he is, throwing his metal jet-pack full-strength into this guy’s crotch! Here’s a poor super-villain who is just trying to make a dishonest buck, and now he’s going to be singing in the Vienna Boy’s Choir for the rest of his career!

Legion destruction

2008-04-14T17:33:00.001-07:00

Apparently it’s hazing week at the Legion.

Yeah, Superboy, all future members of the Legion of Super-Heroes are required to break down a wall as part of their initiation! And on their anniversary of having joined, they bitch-slap Dream Girl. On holidays...they knee Invisible Kid in the invisible groin.

Legion-sicles

2008-04-10T16:46:00.001-07:00

What really stands out about this cover is the fact that NONE of the members of the League of Super-Assassins has the ability to freeze the Legion in ice like shown here. Blok? Nah, he has strength. Lazon? He’s a living laser (copyrights with Marvel notwithstanding.) Mist Master? Turns into gas (Taco Bell is his co-hort). Silver Slasher? Able to slice things. Neutrax? Neutralizes powers. Titania? Again, strength.

Nope....Looks like a booboo from Polar Boy practicing again! Gotta work on that ol’ aim!

You have the right to speak in a squeaky voice

2008-04-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

After the post recently with Superman dealing with female police officers who didn't have anything better to do than harass Clark Kent, I thought I would present one Lady Cop who knows how to handle business. Here we see her about to hit that guy's nightstick with her own nightstick! Ouch! Not a good position for him to be standing in, frankly! That criminal is going to be hurting in his penal institution!

Work on my lawn

2008-04-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

In this scene from one of those 50's style teenager comics, I noticed the following:

Now I may have WAY too dirty of a mind, but this one even Mother Teresa would look twice at. Here she wants to have a Dick near her working on her ‘lawn’. Hmmm...what could that mean, Dr. Freud?

Sometimes a banana is just a banana, but other times........

Safe Cowls

2008-04-01T16:59:00.000-07:00

Okay...looking at the three panels, you have to wonder...Is Captain America a super-hero or worrying about being HIV+? The fretting he's doing could be either way!

Hate for Uncle Sam

2008-03-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

And bullets, laughing boy! Don't forget lots of bullets!

Metropolis, the Lawful City

2008-03-25T19:54:00.001-07:00

No wonder that Metropolis needs Superman so badly...It seems that all of their policewomen have nothing better to do than illegally incarcerate someone in order to prove if they are a hero or not. No patrols, no walking a beat, no going after Lex Luthor for jaywalking. Nah, we have free time, so let’s do our pal Lois a favor and slam Clark Kent in the jail cell!

Wedded Bliss

2008-03-17T17:09:00.000-07:00

If you think YOU have relationship problems, imagine this couple! Master Man and Warrior Woman, who are even arguing on whether they are married or not. And how many times have you used “Don’t be a dummkoph” as a term of endearment?

The Power Rangers are SOOOO gay!

2008-03-15T18:40:00.000-07:00

If you don't believe me, then just look at this screencap from season 3, the Alien Rangers! Look behind them and see the Rainbow Flag proudly flying! ;)

I die!

2008-02-06T19:01:00.000-08:00

Thanks! Without you telling me, I would never have noticed!

Playing DOOM

2008-02-04T12:44:00.000-08:00

The truth behind the Legion of Doom!!!

At Least You Did Your Laundry!

2007-12-18T18:38:00.000-08:00

Is it just me, or did the Spirit Of 76 just congratulate his sidekick for not having skid marks in his
shorts?

I'm back Bonuses

2007-11-19T16:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry that I hadn’t posted in so long...lots of stuff going on. As a ‘thank you’ for waiting, here’s a couple of tv show bonuses!

The Century of Numbnuts

2007-11-19T16:42:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...The 30th Century depends on the Legion of Super-Heroes to help them out. But when there’s trouble, they seem to be always running into the past for help. Superboy, Supergirl, and now Jor-El! Heck, even several members of the Legion of Super-Pets were from the 20th Century! I guess that the 30th Century heroes are pretty useless!

Sub-Mariner in angst

2007-09-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess until I hear otherwise, lashing out at uncomprehending Eskimos it is. Hey, it may be just mindless violence against innocents, but it’s a great stress reliever.

And now, Billy, you are healed...JUST KIDDING!

2007-09-20T16:26:00.000-07:00

Since we are not now reading The Adventures Of Super-Billy, I think it’s safe to say that Superman was playing a fun game of ‘Lie to the crippled child and get his hopes up’.

I also love how the kid’s cat is hiding behind his head, afraid of the Man of Steel! Superman not only lies to young boys, but scares pets!

Ugly Costumes 101

2007-09-18T05:35:00.001-07:00

There are so many things wrong with this costume that I don’t know where to begin. First of all, the entire layout is awful. Next, who thought of combining green, blue, red and purple into one costume? No wonder he’s Grim! He’s been on Blackwell’s Worst-Dressed-List for years!!!

Birthday Bonus Flash

2007-09-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

Since it’s my birthday today, I thought I would do a bonus blog today!

This first appearances of the two Flashes leads to a major question. They stated more than once in the DC Universe that writers of Earth-1 comic books ‘tuned in’ on Earth-2 to know their names, powers, adventures and so forth. These were then printed as comic books on Earth-1. That’s fine for heroes like the Flash, who has a different name on each earth.

But what about the other heroes? If Earth-1 knew that Jay Garrick is the Flash, then why didn’t they know that Clark Kent is Superman, Bruce Wayne is Batman, and so on?

Bye Bye Lois

2007-09-16T08:04:00.001-07:00

No more nagging!! No more tricks to try to get me to marry her! I’m free!!!

This issue was followed by the mini-series Superman Parties Down.

Time Limit

2007-09-15T06:28:00.001-07:00

Yeah, 24 hours. That should you give you just enough time to suffer, since I know you won’t try to stop the bomb or escape.

Since Smythe obviously had Spider-man at his power long enough to put on the explosive bracelet, why not just use a gun?

Taryn him a new one

2007-09-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

You tell her, US! No woman can win a race without cheating! There’s no way that a macho stud like you could come in second behind someone with a uterus!

Oh, and before I get any comments, just one word....

SARCASM!!! ;)

Clark loves Lois, Lois goes splat

2007-09-10T17:51:00.000-07:00

Superman is so intent on what the kid is writing on the sidewalk that he is going to ram Lois headfirst into the ground!

That’s one way to stop a love triangle! 20 minutes later he was calling Lana Lang saying “I’m suddenly free for tonight. Want to see a movie?”

Target practice

2007-09-09T09:23:00.001-07:00

I don’t care how many comic books, movies, cartoons, videogames, etc... the two of you have appeared in...when fighting crime, it’s NEVER a good idea to stand right in front of a bullseye!

Let's get funky!

2007-09-07T17:24:00.000-07:00

Never heard of the Dingbats? No surprise there. It was part of the fun attempts by comic books in the 60's to show how “hip” they were. Need proof? Look at this closeup of the lower part of the cover....

Far-Out Killers? Good, because I’d hate to be taken out by a killer who just wasn’t ‘with it’!

Stop me before I waltz again!!!

2007-09-04T17:52:00.000-07:00

“Just wait until I make them all sing karaoke!”

I think I’m still amazed that any spaceship has a ray to make animals dance at all! I just don’t know whether to file this under “Stupid Pet Tricks” or to find out if “Fido Dancing With The Stars” is a new reality show.

Auntie Malice?

2007-09-03T05:52:00.001-07:00

Given that Malice is an alternate evil identity to his mother, the sexual overtones in this panel are wrong on SO many levels!

Oedipus Shmedipus...So long as he loves his mother!

Eliminated This Week

2007-09-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

I think that this was the beginning of the reality show craze, with Reed being the annoying host. And frankly, I don’t think that Ben has the immunity idol crammed down in that thing’s throat!

Lois Lane, Super-Slut

2007-09-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

What’s wrong, Lois? Was the Air Force and Salvation Army too busy for your little trist? No wonder Superman has his eyes closed...He can’t believe he’s dated such an easy woman and STILL didn’t get any action!

Mr. Sensitive

2007-08-29T16:27:00.001-07:00

I know that I’m not a 12th level intellect, but I DO know that the best way to tell your aunt and uncle about the death of their only child is NOT to carry the bound corpse into their house and start unwrapping!

As another site might say, Superman is a DICK!!!

The Revenge Of Lois Lane

2007-08-27T16:57:00.001-07:00

This blast is for all of the dates you stood me up on to rescue a cat! And this one is for all of the kisses you gave that slut Lana Lang! And one more for each time you humiliated me in public “for my own good” to teach me a lesson! Take that, you Kryptonian bastard!!!!

Masters of Deception

2007-08-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

Just wait until you are in your 60's! Those lies will just roll off of your tongue every chance you get! You could even be politicians!!!

Peek-A-Boo

2007-08-24T17:21:00.001-07:00

Take a look at the guy with the flattop cut between Captain America’s legs. Is it just me, or does it look like he’s checking out Cap’s caboose? Hmmmm.

Super Lois

2007-08-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

If Lois can do everything that Superman can do, does that mean that we will be seeing her turning down Superman’s advances all over the place? Or is she going to chase after Lana Lang?

Cover me, Lex!

2007-08-18T18:17:00.000-07:00

I’m still trying to figure out how a super-genius like Lex Luthor, even in an imaginary story, could think that Lois would think he was Clark Kent just because he was wearing Clark’s clothes! If he popped on Lana Lang’s dress, would Lois think that Lex was Lana?

Wait...Strike that. She probably would. Lois never was the brightest chunk of Kryptonite.

Mike Wieringo passes away

2007-08-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

The comics industry lost a luminary this weekend - Mike Wieringo passed away Sunday of a sudden heart attack. Details are still sketchy as of this time, but according to close sources, the acclaimed artist had chest pains at some point during the day and called 911, but the responders did not make it in time.

Wieringo was 44 years old. He was a vegetarian, and "one of the healthiest ones of us in the bunch," as his longtime friend and collaborator Todd Dezago described him. Currently, there are no details about services or a funeral.

Wieringo worked every day, updating his blog and website with a constant stream of sketches at MikeWieringo.com. His last sketch was posted on Friday.

I had to keep the sketch pretty quick today if I was going to get it done and posted at all. I spent the morning with an electrical contractor here at the house. I’ve been having trouble with my heating and air conditioning unit switching its breaker off during the height of the heat of the day the past few afternoons (and for those of you in the southeast dealing with these 100-plus degree days, you know just how sweltering and oppressive this week has been). As it turns out, my entire wiring setup outside is horribly old and doesn’t meet code. It also contains quite a bit of aluminum wiring– which the contractor tells me is very dangerous and not in use anymore. So I got the great news that it’s going to cost me thousands of dollars to bring everything back up to code…. and not have the danger of causing a fire at any point as well. Ah, the joys of being a homeowner….!
I’ve had several folks inquire about my 2007 sketchbook and whether it would be for sale here on the site. Steven Gettis has set up a store link in the PERSONAL section of the column at the right for selling the sketchbook and prints I’ve produced. So anyone interested in the things offered there, I’ve got a PayPal account set up to handle the sales that way.

OK… have a great weekend, everyone.

This is Entry 412.

Mike

Wieringo was born June 24th, 1963 in Venice, Italy, and first caught the attention of comic book fans when he joined writer Mark Waid on DC's The Flash with issue #80 in 1993. Together, the two co-created the character Impulse, the future speedster brought back to the present. Wieringo (or, 'Ringo as he was better known by then) moved on to Robin at DC, and then moved to Marvel, where he settled in on Sensational Spider-Man with writer Todd DeZago.
The pairing with DeZago was something of fate, as the two co-created and launched their creator-owned property Tellos, which saw several projects and miniseries published over the years. Ringo moved back to DC for a run on Adventures of Superman, and then, in 2002, reunited with Waid for a run on Fantastic Four that was perhaps best known for fan outcry when Marvel announced that they were going to replace the team. Marvel quickly reversed their decision, and the two completed their run on the series.

Ringo then moved to Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man with writer Peter David, and most recently, completed a Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four miniseries written by Jeff Parker. His next project had not been announced, although, as readers of his blog knew, he was very excited at the prospect of doing more Tellos work, with an eye on being able to debut something at next month's Baltimore Comic-Con.

Mike was a regular face at East Coast conventions for years, and was known to both fans and pros as one of the friendliest, and most approachable guys in comics. Heck, he was, I think, the first "pro" I ever met, back when he had just started drawing Flash. I remember asking him for a sketch at a small convention in High Point, North Carolina, he said, "Sure - what of?" And I told him it had to be the Flash - but not with the mask on, with the mask pulled back, showing Wally West. Mike looked thoughtful for a few minutes, gave me a look, and got to drawing. A few minutes later, he gave me the sketch (still framed and in my office) and I thanked him. It wasn't until later that my wife pointed out that he'd drawn me in the mask, instead of Wally. That's the kind of cool guy Mike was. And with the North Carolina comics community being pretty tight-knit, Mike and I got to be pretty good friends after that. He was a great friend, and a friend of the site - all too happy to help out years back when Mike Doran and I needed headshots for the then-version of Newsarama. We looked a little dorky, but I think that was Mike making a little joke that included all of us.

He loved what he did.

Matt Brady

ps - I see we're getting some database errors from the traffic with this news. Heh - it was the news of Mark and Mike being kicked off of the Fantastic Four that melted down our server when it happened a few years back. Mike was the most humble guy you'd ever meet, but I think he's at least getting a smile out of that.

Arnim Zola, Pimp Daddy

2007-08-11T17:56:00.001-07:00

Hmmm...Purple outfit, providing females for others...Arnim Zola, you are under arrest for procurement for prostution! (You just KNOW that there’s a pinkie ring under those purple gloves!)

Love Hurts

2007-08-10T17:08:00.000-07:00

I know that this scene from the origin of Metamorpho is supposed to show Java’s anguish of unrequited love...but instead, it looks like a bad case of constipation!

Not mean & green!

2007-08-09T05:06:00.000-07:00

I know that Brainiac 5 was never the most physically strong of the Legionnaires, but I think being beaten up by a pre-pubescent boy really sinks you to the lowest levels. At that point, even Matter-Eater Lad is taunting you! “Yeah, I just eat things, but you got trashed by a kindergardener!!”

Scientific war

2007-08-05T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s not so much a scientific war as it is a plan to really cheese Superman off by driving up his electricity bill.

Good one, Luthor!

I’m sorry, the Wisdom of Solomon is not in at this time

2007-08-03T16:49:00.000-07:00

I’m still trying to figure out what Captain Marvel was trying to accomplish here. He hadn’t created a cure for the plague, just had isolated it and had it in a beaker. So, rather than figure out how to cure it, he wants to make sure it’s REALLY a plague. Since it doesn’t work on Captain Marvel, let’s change into the mortal Billy Batson and take a deep sniff! Ah, that does it.

Safety First

2007-07-17T17:39:00.001-07:00

Yes, saving his oil fields is very important...but apparently not as important as room service!

Position of Authority

2007-07-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

Um...Sheriff? I don’t think that a geriatric super-hero who is recovering in a hospital REALLY wants to hear about the mayor being on his knees! Boy, small-town politics really have their dark secrets!

No time like the future!

2007-07-05T17:10:00.000-07:00

Oh darn! If only there was a way to wait a day to travel into the future rather than doing it today! But darn it, if I wait 24 hours to travel 100,000 years in the future, then....well, I’ll still be on time, but I’ll miss Big Brother on tv! No, I have to find a way to go to the future now, no matter what!

Time travel makes my brain hurt!

Making America Safe

2007-07-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

That’s right! Captain America and the Falcon are going to take out Paris Hilton and her friends!

Forward Into The Past

2007-07-02T17:18:00.001-07:00

In this pilot for Superboy in 1961, Krypton is described as “home of a race of fine and noble humans far advanced over those of our own world”. Which begs the question...Why are they using fire for lights rather than some other ‘advanced’ form of illumination?

Duplicate or dupe?

2007-06-28T17:45:00.001-07:00

Okay, let’s add this all up. You have a guy who looks and sounds just like you, who also has the same super-powers. Add to this he has your fingerprints, which you yourself say is absolute proof that he is a duplicate of you. But then, you suspect that he isn’t a duplicate because he forgot that a cover on a box was loose? Super logic, Superman. And the fingerprint ‘clue’ was never explained either, so what’s the story here?

Aquatic Protector

2007-06-27T17:16:00.001-07:00

Oops! I guess that whole “sea creatures controlled by Aquaman” only applies when Aquaman is actually somewhere in the area. My bad!

Things Not To Do

2007-06-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

Take a good look at the Thing in this picture. Now, not only is the head in a position that doesn’t look like anyone (mutated or not) could survive, but what sort of pose is that for the rest of his body? Frankly, it looks more like someone took their action figure, turned the limbs as much as possible, and tossed it in the corner!

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride!

2007-06-25T16:35:00.001-07:00

Lois, if he was really sorry about you being an old maid, he would have married you!

Ranger Phobia

2007-06-24T07:53:00.001-07:00

That’s right...that’s why bears don’t get fish out of a stream, they go to the corner market instead.
Yellow Ranger, if you are just a big wuss, say so and get it over with!

Brokeback Cosmos

2007-06-23T19:52:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of pics from the Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer movie out now. One’s a promo pic, and the other one is from the trailer for the movie. I was looking and said to myself...Boy, is Johnny Storm flaming or what?

Here we have Johnny sneaking up from behind to give his future brother-in-law a nice hug. Right after this, Reed yells out "Bad touch! Bad touch!"

As for here, all I can suspect is that the Surfer is saying "I wish I knew how to quit you!"

Avenging wide

2007-06-14T18:48:00.002-07:00

Here’s a more adult version of an Avengers cover I did awhile back.

Drag Reep

2007-06-14T18:48:00.001-07:00

Hey, can this be a worse idea than the Matrix-Angel Supergirl?

What do you give a sleeping Rhino?

2007-06-10T17:37:00.000-07:00

In another Rhino moment, we have doctors and police worrying how they will keep the Rhino under control. They say that sedating him is out, because his skin is too thick for needles. However, later the same page the Rhino makes his move when waking up. And how do they capture him?

Hey guys, you would have saved a lot of damage and heartache if you had used that instead of the needles you complained didn’t work!

Stupid & Happy

2007-06-06T18:01:00.001-07:00

Frankly, I think that I work in a place where being stupid is a job requirement!